My stance on marijuana legalization is founded on the benefits it has provided to me specifically as a woman. As many of us can attest, there is a unique vulnerability in navigating the world as a woman, with social situations being the sphere where many feel the need to be most careful. Violent behavior against women is so commonplace that all kinds of social interactions hold more risk for us. From things like going out with friends for a drink to more involved decisions like choosing sexual partners, life requires women to be more mindful in our choices. It is because of this need to act with more discernment that I use marijuana as my method to relax as opposed to using other substances like alcohol. Weed has allowed me to enjoy life in a deeper way because of the safety it fosters in social situations, and in the ways in which it has improved my relationships within my sex life.
When you read articles that discuss how to improve your sex life, they rarely mention marijuana use, but I think it should definitely be a part of the conversation because of the potential it holds to make sex great for more women. I started using marijuana recreationally a few years after I became sexually active, and the difference in the quality of my relationships before and after I started smoking is remarkable. While it is quite common to hear stories of regretful sexual encounters that happened under the influence of alcohol, marijuana made me more self-aware and, because of that, more enthusiastic and adventurous with sex. Incorporating marijuana into sex helped me become more confident in saying what I wanted from each encounter-I became more intentional about being vocal about what worked for me in bed. This led to my sex life becoming much more egalitarian. I now prioritize my own pleasure, and am not hesitant to be direct with my partners. I am able to give myself more fully to each experience, and can connect with my partner in a deeper way through being high. When I smoke I slow down, think through things more, and have been capable of making decisions in my sex life that I am happy with afterward, instead of regretting. Our culture showcases women as vehicles for sexual pleasure rather than human beings who have their own desires and needs that deserve to be fulfilled; within that environment, it is revolutionary as a woman to decide your pleasure should not be sidelined as secondarily important to a male’s. With the relaxation and heightened awareness that weed gives me, my pleasure has become central to my sexual experiences, and I have become more discerning with choosing partners who will prioritize that too.
The people I smoke weed with tend to be different than the people I used to drink with. With the weed smokers, I feel safer and more respected and so am able to enjoy myself more. I enjoy drinking, but there’s no denying that it can be risky in social situations. From becoming incapacitated and unable to make good decisions, to participating in other risky behaviors (unsafe sex, for one) that you normally would never consider, alcohol can create more memories you regret than ones you enjoy revisiting. But marijuana facilitates creating memories of connecting with people rather than not being able to remember what I did at all—I much prefer the former! In addition, I have had bad experiences at bars with alcohol-fueled harassment from men. Many women have those stories. Because marijuana doesn’t create those kinds of encounters, and the intention is relaxation rather than losing control, I get to maintain my sense of autonomy and safety, which frees me up to make new friends and have more meaningful conversations that lead to a richer life. Alcohol is also more detrimental to your health and carries a much higher risk for accidents, and in my experience, smoking weed is a way to enjoy yourself while still being considerate of your body, health and wellbeing.
Incorporating marijuana into my life has only led to good things-deeper relationships, more profoundly pleasurable sexual experiences, and a community of people with whom it is safe to relax and enjoy myself. I am more aware of how to be kind to my body and make good decisions for my health by using marijuana instead of other forms of indulgence like alcohol. And I hope, as someone who has benefitted so greatly from marijuana use, that more people experience a similar increase in their welfare as the movement for decriminalization and legalization moves forward.
-Love Stoned in Austin
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